50 Questions To Free Your Mind - Complete!

Over the evenings from yesterday and today, I spent a few hours working on the 50 Questions to Free Your Mind. I kept wondering what the best way to post them was. Should I do 10 at a time? 25? All at once? Then I figured, "look, you're all done with them. Just go ahead and post them!" Sooo.

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
I would be a child, somewhere between the age where the questions in life begin to make sense but before the wonder of nature or love of childish things have been lost. There is a verse that reads “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” I always wondered, why did we need to put them away at all?
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
Never trying. If you never try, then there’s no chance of ever succeeding.
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
Contrariness is part of human nature?
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
Most likely. After all, this blog exists to try and change that, but in the end, we spend much more time speaking than acting.
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
More appreciation and respect for the planet. As the greatest creatures, it should be our responsibility to care for the rest of the world, but we choose to ravage and destroy it, with only a small few attempting to fix the damage we cause.
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
To work part-time at my current job, and be a stay-at-home wife the rest of the time able to work on my writing.
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
A mix of both, I think. Probably leaning more towards settling. I guess I’m doing this to change that.
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
I want to leave this world with my mark on it somehow. I guess I’d be working harder to make that mark sooner.
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
I have controlled myself, and I have been controlled. As a child, I was told what to do and how to do it, but I was lucky enough to be granted freedom in many choices once I proved myself to be an adult. As I’m still young, I’ll probably say I’ve controlled myself 40% of the time. Since I’ve been an adult, 90%
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
Doing the right thing. Ethics and being a good person have always been major elements of my education and upbringing. I was always taught to follow the rules. The memory that is clearest in my mind is of the sign in the elementary school lunch room that read “The Golden Rule - Do Unto Others As You Would Have Others Do Unto You.” When I finally understood what “Unto” meant, I followed it. After all, it was a rule. I know better now, but I also know that what I do for others will be returned to me. I like people doing right by me, so I do right by everything else.
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
I know myself. I’d keep quiet. I’d be afraid of offending them or being ostracized. I might cut the lunch early, tell my friend about it in confidence, and lose some respect for the people I admired, but I wouldn’t say anything to them then.
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Never stop being amazed by the new-fallen snow, the shine in the stars, or the colors of a rainbow.
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
Laws exist to protect us. If the law I would break is just and breaking it against my moral code, then no. I would hate myself for it, but I can’t bring myself to break a law.
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
No, modern art is just crazy.
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
I have a belief that luck is granted by the desires for well-wishes by those close to someone, harnessed by a “lucky object”. This is the heart of why I try to be nice to everyone, and always, always, always wear my lucky necklace. So far, I’ve been pretty darn lucky.
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
Everyone’s different and have different ideas of what make them happy. Some believe money makes them happy, some family and friends, some peace of mind, and so on. If you can imagine that everyone has a list of everything in their life with a meter next to it that indicates how much is required for happiness, no two people will have the exact same meters all the way down.
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
Finish a novel. I just…stopped writing after high school. I didn’t have the time I had then, or most of the inspiration. The only thing holding me back now is myself.
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
A ticking generic brown package. In all seriousness though, I try to live without regrets and let the past stay where it belongs.
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
Hm…I’d probably want to move back to Florida for memory’s sake staying in the states. Out of the country, England probably. Maybe Canada. I want to visit a bunch of countries, but I wouldn’t want to live in many of them.
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
Nope. I push it once.
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
A joyful simpleton. Ignorance can be bliss. If being smart meant I couldn't stop worrying, I'd rather not be smart.
22. Why are you, you?
My life experiences and the people I’ve encountered during them have molded me like clay over the years to make me the shape I am now.
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
I’d like to be a bit more in touch as a friend, but my friendship doesn’t die. I love the friends like me. They all came to my wedding.
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
Losing touch. If there’s no distance, there’s no reason for distance.
25. What are you most grateful for?
The guidance in life that led me to my husband. Meeting him was the end of a long series of “If I hadn’t”s, and I glad I did each and every one of them.
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
Our old memories have made us who we are. Our new ones make us who we will be. While it would hurt to lose the old memories that have made me, me, it would hurt worse to be the same me for the rest of my life. While I’d be sad to lose the memories of childhood, college, my wedding, I think I’d be even more sad to wake up and not remember a friend had just passed away, or my future children and their accomplishments.
27. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
To believe you know the truth, yes. To fully know it, you have to see it from every side possible.
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
Nope, considering my greatest fear is either someone to lose their grip on a sharp object and inadvertently stab me, or to be completely and utterly rejected by everyone close to me. And luckily I’m still alive and still have friends.
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
Nope. Because I don’t remember.
30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
Camp Ocala. I made so many good memories there, from age 8 or 9 to 17. One week every summer spent making new friends, seeing old ones, crushing on cute boys, getting postcards and letters from our parents and grandparents, singing silly songs, sitting around the campfire coming up with goofy contests...and the yearly end-of-camp shaving cream fights in the cabins that we weren’t allowed to have but did anyway. I heard the camp is being used in a reality show now.
31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
At my wedding, and amusingly at the laser tag game after the wedding. Working in tandem with my new family to beat the other team (it was couples versus singles, and all my husband’s young family are married or engaged). Sharing that and the rest of the night with them and our closest friends was simply wonderful.
32. If not now, then when?
If I say tomorrow, it’ll never get done. I guess it has to be now.
33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
Time, dignity, self-respect?
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
I really don’t know about long silences, but I do know that for most people I met, the silence in between conversation were awkward, unusual and wrong. I knew there was something special about my husband when those silences were peaceful and didn’t need to be filled with anything at all.
35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
In order for love to exist, so must hate. It’s a matter of balance.
36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
In the sense of black and white, yes. Add in the shades of grey, and it’s not so clear anymore.
37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
No, I like my job, I’m good at it, and 1 million will be great for sending kids to college, supporting a comfortable retirement, buying a nice house. It’s not enough in this day and age to just up and quit work.
38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
Less work to do. I enjoy my leisure time.
39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
No, each day is special with its own experiences. The process may be the same, but you can’t “step in the same river twice.”
40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
When I applied for my current job. My last two were utter failures, my job hunt hadn’t been successful up until then, and I found a hopeful ad looking for exactly me. I applied for that job, which could have been fake, a scam, anything, it was on Craigslist for god’s sake, and told them in no uncertain terms that I was the one they were looking for. It wasn’t a scam, wasn’t fake, and I was exactly what they wanted.
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
I would call my family, tell them I loved them, and then spend every waking moment with my husband.
42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
No. Neither of those would make my life any fuller than those 10 years would give me as long as I can fully experience those 10 years. If it were 10 years being a vegetable or fully unable to care for myself, gimme the spotlight.
43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
Alive is breathing, having a heartbeat, and awareness. Living is doing all that while being content.
44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
When morality outweighs both
45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
Shame, judgment of others, depth of punishment from those the mistakes hurt. We learn from mistakes, but when they affect others, we don’t always get a second chance to learn from it.
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
Be more open about who I am, and stand up for myself and my friends more.
47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
Approximately 1 second after I read this question
48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
My husband, my world. I make sure he knows this every day.
49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
Nope. I’m forgetful. I can’t even remember what I ate two days ago.
50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
I am making them for myself.

And with that, #60 is complete.